No alliteration here. We here at The Axe (and by we, I mean me) will keep a running update today of all the casulaties from the Timbers Monday "We need stability" trade announcements.
Fullback and Vince Neil coverband member Michael Harrington sent from the Timbers to Colorado for Al O'Cation Money, the least visible and most frustrating Timber who has been lost and re-acquired nearly 4000 times since 2011.
Timbers Acquire Ghanaian international goalkeeper Adam Larsen Kwarasey to the team thus bringing to light the following scenarios
#1 A young promising international goalkeeper
#2 A young promising international goalkeeper from a league that is difficult to scout or see players perform
#3 A young promising international goalkeeper from a league that is difficult to scout or see players perform who played with at least two members of the team.
#4 A young promising international goalkeeper from a league that is difficult to scout or see players perform who played with at least two members of the team who is from two countries (Norway by way of Ghanian heritage) that the Timbers have used before in USL and MLS
If you are keeping track this is the center square of Gavin Wilkinson Bingo
Welcome Adam to the PTFC and someone start the Vespa for Andrew Weber.
NO WORD YET ON KALIF.
It sound like the purported transfer of millions of millions from somewhere in La Liga have not yet materialized. We will be keeping track of this rumored proposal as time ticks onward. Meanwhile, I transfer listed Kalif in FIFA 2012 again, for funsies.... yet I got three offers on Peter Lowry. Possibly for his twitter references. #SocialMediaGameOnPoint
Timbers sign Colombian forward/winger Diaron Aspirlla.
Aspirlla is 22 going on 23 and would appear to be taking the place of Steve "Seattle Sounders are my favorite team and I didn't play defense for them either" Zakuani.
Update: According to the press release from Timbers FC "Playing primarily as a right winger," which should cause everyone to unreasonably freak out about the future of Darlington Nagbe.
Clearly this "playing as a right winger" means that he will not be the replacement for Zakuani, but the whole "playing" thing should have tipped you off to that fact.
I just frantically called Real Madrid to verify any Kalif to them rumors, they responded with a "Who" and hung up. I then called Marca and planned a rumor about his potential while indicating that Pele said he was "The item of the future" without informing them that Pele was talking about a chicken sub from Subway.
We here at The Axe would like to remind you that Billy Beane is a nob and moneyball is reliant on your scouting and signing team being better than nearly every other team in the league at identifying value otherwise you end up with inconsistent years where talent doesn't perform like you expected. I'd also like to remind you of Kris Boyd, Kevin Goldthwaite, Jeremy Hall, Kosuke Kimura, and the backloaded contract to Pa Kah.*
*(Note: This is the opinion of one man only and should not be taken as a statement from The Axe in total)
Timbers sign 33 going on 34 year old Nat Borchers. Borchers is apparently a clean shaven lad from somewhere in Ut-Ah.
All kidding aside, Borchers is insanely durable although his overall effectiveness was greatly reduced last season in the air and on the ground. It is worth noting that a 45 year old Borchers is still better than McKenzie, O'Rourke and Kah. Welcome Nat!
Borchers will hopefully have a one/two year career revival at PTFC ala Will Johnson.
Check out Borchers statistics for Games Played.
STILL NO WORD ON KALIF.
I have been informed that Asprilla has two feet. Rumor is that he will be donating his left to Darlington Nagbe in return for some locally made gluten free chocolate and a tall bike.
The Rumors of Kalif being traded for a 10 sided die are, apparently, false.
The Portland guild of Dungeons and Dragons supporters apparently could not be swayed by velvet capes and canes made of unobtanium.
Well, nothing happened exactly at 9:00 so lets talk about how much better Borchers is than the other options the Timbers had last season. By an order of Magnitude, Borchers is the King Burrito to Kah's Acupulco's Gold.
Alvas Powell is still on the Timbers roster but now as a Timbers player. Hopefully this is the Alvas Powell of late 2014 and not the Alvas Powell of early 2014.
Still Powell has upside in bags, all supporters should just wish that his game experience and mental game were as strong as his legs and lungs, at times.
I just emailed the tweed party for their take on the Kalif situation.
Honestly, it sounded like they were just having too much fun looking for vintage tall bikes and picnic blankets.
WHO NEEDS COFFEE
THRUMP THRUMP THRUMP THRUMP.
And we're back!
Timbers sign Brazilian defender Jeanderson Salvador Pereira.
Pereira appears to be a 23 year old left back
Hyperbolic reaction of the day: Brazilians are FANTASTIC defensively.
Real Reaction: I've never heard of this player and I have no idea if he will be good or not, but hopefully he plays more games than Kerrea Gilbert.
I just mainlined some Pop Rocks and yelled at a squirrel for not making the right pass.
LETS GET THE ROSTER CUTS GOING.
Perhaps if Jeanderson's career doesn't pan out he can take up a position on Timbers in 30 with Gregor.
It's time for that slow jam of notifying the players as they drop their kids off to school of them not returning to the team.
The Timbers declined the 2015 contract options on midfielders Kalif Alhassan and Steven Evans, and defenders Bryan Gallego and Pa Modou Kah. Alhassan is eligible for the MLS Re-Entry Draft. Additionally, the club announced that forward Jose Valencia was sold to Argentina’s Club Olimpo Bahía Blanca, while Evans has signed a contract with T2.
Defenders Rauwshan McKenzie and Danny O’Rourke are out of contract and have not been extended bona fide offers. Both players will be eligible for the MLS Re-Entry Draft.
It happened? Where was Getafe?
The Timbers finally announce Trencito's departure and dump the heaving beat of the dumpster fire of the Timbers defense in the 2014 season by dismantling O'Rourke, McKenzie, and Kah from the roster.
It is certainly sad to see that Gallego didn't pan out for the team as they expended a player (Kimura) and a draft pick to acquire the talent from Akron.
Other than the list of protected players for the draft, many mysteries from the PTFC offseason have been illuminated. The interesting thing will be, as usual, to see if the elements selected can coalesce into something that resembles a team. The talent has been updated at the centerback position, but no one can honestly say what they expect from the new fullback acquisition or whether Kwarasey will be an upgrade at the goalkeeping position over Ricketts.
As usual, we wait for the games to be played in order to see how the defense comes together and how the team reacts. Hopefully the loss of Kah and McKenzie will themselves be an addition by subtraction.
From initial views the team worked on things that it needed to fix from the 2014 season. It improved the CB position by acquisition and loss. It got younger with the GK position and traded a down season (Harrington) for an unknown. It appears to have a acquired a winger with quick feet who can play with both his left and right.
For all we know Jeanderson is Brazilian for Ryan Miller, but I'd rather go ahead with the Miller I don't know in 2015 than the Miller I do know. At the very least, the Timbers attempted to work on the things that really hurt them in 2014, and that shows a reason for cautious optimism. Hopefully this is only the beginning of solidifying the lineup from the substitutes on up.
Here at The Axe, we like to explore the coincidences between things, and we did some digging.
Out of the four players acquired by the Timbers today, three of them had connections to the team through agent or direct player contact.
Nat Borchers: chose Portland after talking to Will Johnson
Adam Larsen Kwarasey: Agent for Kwarasey is the agent for Paul Addo, the left back that trialed with the Timbers in 2012. Addo was, as well, playing in Norway at that time. (oddly enough, he was with Odd Grenland, Nat Borcher's old team)
Jeanderson Salvador Pereira: Agent for Pereira is also the agent for James Marcelin and Kleberson.
Dairon Rivas: UNKNOWN
LET THE SACRIFICES TO BA'AL COMMENCE.
Otherwise known as, "the MLS Protected lists approach". Today is the day for all things MLS player related and the cull of players gathered together hunger games style to feed the machine of transfer equity destined for the pristine playgrounds of Orlando (where they have amusement parks) and the Bronx (where they have baseball) arrives.
Thusly, toot the horn and begin the rabbling discourse of "Who, what, where" as we all take the trip down the rabbit hole of whatever MLS wants the front offices to do today.
There is no word, yet, if Jack Jewsbury will volunteeer for the sacrifice necessary to protect Liam Ridgewell from the stain that results on the soul of those who step out onto the field of Yankee stadium.
Theoretically, we hear something in 12 minutes with regard to protected lists. At this point then there will be gnashing of teeth and rending of clothes, or not.
Either/Or.... we creep closer to that time.
COFFEE IN. COOOOOOOFFFFEEEEE
Predictably, the news isn't out.... yet.
In the mean time, try to imagine the whirling tornado of madness if Diego Valeri wasn't protected. I'm imagining that would be the worst case scenario for nearly every Timbers fan.
Here's a picture of a hamster with a cape.
Still Waiting for the MLS Protected lists.
The new report from those concerned is that the protected lists will be out in about 30 minutes.
Who Took the Over?!
The list is out.
Kah, Pa Modou
Homegrown Players exempt from selection
Generation adidas Players exempt from selection
Tshuma, Ntokozo (Schillo)
Johnson makes the protected list, while Villafana does not. As well, the currently negotiating with the team, Gaston Fernandez, is left unprotected.
There was an argument to be made that no one would select a 1.5 million dollar centerback, but the inverse of that argument is that Ridgewell has a competent sports agent who included a no-trade clause in his contract.
Certainly the statement to be made from the Timbers front office is that they are fully comfortable with a Brazilian defender being the theoretical starting left full back for the team.
"In stating his bio the front office said:
"four appearances for Brazilian side Santa Rita in the 2014 Copa do Brasil, as the team reached the tournament’s Round of 16. Signing with Santa Rita in July 2014, Jeanderson started both legs of the third round as Santa Rita earned a 4-3 aggregate win over Santa Cruz to reach the Round of 16. "
Top of the league Serie A:
||Arena da Baixada
||Rio de Janeiro
||Rio de Janeiro
||Rio de Janeiro
||Arena do Grêmio
||Ilha do Retiro
Relegation to the second league ends you up in Serie B:
||14th in Série B
|América de Natal
||Arena das Dunas
||13th in Série B
||9th in Série B
||16th in Série B
||10th in Série B
||11th in Série B
||Nabi Abi Chedid
||12th in Série B
||7th in Série B
||Juazeiro do Norte
||5th in Série B
||6th in Série B
||Lucas do Rio Verde
||Passo das Emas Stadium
||3rd in Série C
||20th in Série A
||15th in Série B
||8th in Série B
||19th in Série A
||17th in Série A
||2nd in Série C
||1st in Série C
|Vasco da Gama
||Rio de Janeiro
||18th in Série A
||4th in Série C
Relegation from this ends you up in Serie C:
Relegation from this ends you up in Serie D:
See: Santa Rita aren't located in that Serie D as they didn't make it. They play in a local league called
In which (as described by Wikipedia)
The Campeonato Alagoano is divided into three stages.
- First stage: double round-robin, in which all teams play each other home-and-away games. The first place wins a spot on the third stage.
- Second stage: home-and-away playoff with the top 4 teams of the first stage (1st place x 4th place, 2nd place x 3rd place).
- Third stage: home-and-away playoff between the winner of the first stage and the second stage. If the same team wins both the first and second stages, it is declared the Campeonato Alagoano champion.
The worst two teams after the first stage are relegated to the second division.
In which we find the team
- Sport Clube Santo Antônio
- Igreja Nova Futebol Clube
- Sociedade Esportiva São Luiz
- Associação Sportiva São Domingos
- Sociedade Sportiva Sete de Setembro
- Centro Sportivo Alagoano (CSA)
So to answer a question unasked.
Jeanderson Salvador Pereira appears to have come to the Timbers from the 5th division of Brazilian soccer.
Here's the home stadium for Santa Rita